


gift of the year

by Giftshit (SlankyHanky)



Category: Internet & Social Media (Anthropomorphic), Internet Personalities, Real Person Fiction
Genre: But I wont, Crack, F/F, Memes, Multi, Other, STOP THIS, WTF, got it, i should stop this madness now, shirpost, shitoost, shitpost, wrf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 00:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13224303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlankyHanky/pseuds/Giftshit
Summary: the last shitpost of 2017





	gift of the year

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Narkaoh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narkaoh/gifts), [MooseClaw11713](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooseClaw11713/gifts), [Anasya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anasya/gifts).



> The gifting continues with a downhill rollercoaster of quality

            Anasya knocked on the door to her partner's apartment. She clutched the red gift bag in her hand tightly, unsure if the gift she got was the best she could've possibly gotten. She'd only been dating Claw for a month but such things like this were important, even anniversary gifts. When nobody opened the door, she drew out the spare key she'd been handed, as much as she didn't like using it, and opened the door. When she did, she was greeted with an unwelcome sight so shocking her bag and jaw dropped simultaneously.

            Claw and a mysterious person were making out on the couch. Claw snapped her head up and jumped, "Oh, crap!" She covered herself with her blanket to shield her body. The other, who was a white figure with humanoid characteristics and a green V on where its face should be, turned to Anasya.

            "M-Moosey?" Anasya whimpered, "Who's this? Wait, don't tell me... Isn't this _Vine?!_ "

            "Tis I, Vine!" The character announced, making a frame with its hands over its face.

            "I thought we had something special!" Anasya cried.

            Claw gaped at her girlfriend, still shocked that she'd been caught red-handed sleeping with her ex (Or at least, her supposed ex who was supposed to be dead). "Ana-"

            "No!" Anasya turned away with a bitter expression, "Vine-sama's supposed to be dead! You told me so!"

            "I, Vine, had faked my death," Vine explained, "So I could spend the rest of my life with the one I love!" It grabbed a hold of Claw's shoulders, "But alas, it seems you've betrayed me!"

            "It's not like that, I swear!" Claw started, "Whenever I talk about you, people ask who you really are! So I have to go be seen out with Ana!"

            Anasya's expression was one of pure revolt, "I can't believe you used me like that!"

            "I thought it was just us forever!" Vine whined.

            Claw stammered in an attempt to explain but came up with nothing. She stared down at her hands, the guilt she's been hiding creeping up to her face. She balled her fists on the blanket.

            Vine stood up in full view and grabbed a kitchen knife. "I cannot live knowing this truth!" It proceeded to commit sudoku, memes spraying everywhere in place of blood. The two women cried out in disgust, fear, agony, and more emotion as Vine fell forward with one faint Roblox death sound: "Oof!"

            It was at that moment that yet another ex-lover appeared, arriving through the apartment window on a vehicle of doves holding chocolates in a grand box. "Ana!"

            "Nani?! Is that you, Narkaoh-san?!" Anasya exclaimed.

            "Kono Narka da!"

            "Fuckin- What the hell?!" Claw was just as terribly confused.

            "I've come to ask you return to me!" She threw herself on the ground in front of Anasya's feet, slipping through the memes that were spilled on the floor. The memes glittered and resounded with overlapping voices of the damned.

            "I said we were over!" Anasya turned away, tears streaking her cheeks. She took the bag from the ground, running out with the receipt in her pocket to return the present.

            "Nooooo!" Narka crawled on the ground, getting infected with the cancer that is 2012 memes seeping through her clothes. She curled on the ground, sobbing and hugging the box of sweets that were probably worth more than this fanfiction and its author combined (It is, it really is).

            "You gonn' eat those?" Claw asked her, getting tossed the confections. She ate them as she suffered from loss.

            Loss did not like being mentioned but will appear for this very brief moment in the terror that is this post.

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End file.
